Are you facing a sticky situation? Or maybe you’d like to upgrade the way you approach conflicts generally in your life or in your leadership role. Whether you’re dealing with challenging dynamics in your family, organization, neighborhood, or public life, let my decades of experiencing in conflict resolution help guide you.
We’ll analyze the situation, assess your own responses to it, and jointly craft an action pla
n that you’re comfortable with. You’ll emerge with
- Clarity: You’ll be clearer on your own wants, interests, and needs as well as those of the other people involved.
- Integrity: I’ll never guide you to be malicious or deceptive. Instead we’ll find ways to ensure you’re advancing both your own good and the greater good.
- Confidence: Conflict is anxiety-provoking for most people. I’ll help you chart a path that is comfortable for you and in which the risks are manageable.
Sometimes a quick consultation (a listening ear and a bit of gentle guidance) is all that’s needed. But for really thorny problems, I’ve got a large tool set. Here are some of the frameworks I use:
- Positions-interests-needs: The more deeply you understand your own and others’ motivations, the more likely you can get to a truly satisfying resolution.
- Communication skills: Unlock the transformative power of active listening, and learn to express yourself in assertive yet compassionate ways.
- Avoid-indirect-direct: Learn to discern what isn’t worth struggling over, whether there are any constructive, indirect approaches you could use, and what to address directly, taking into account the risks of confrontation.
- Power analysis: You probably have more power than you think. We’ll assess the tangible and intangible sources of power and how to leverage yours in a positive, uplifting (not dominating) way.
- Emotions: Learn to name and embrace the emotions you’re feeling, identify the thoughts driving them, and see whether those thoughts need to be revised.
- Cultural differences: We can look at cultural variables such as Hofstede’s to make others’ strange behavior (or maybe your own?) make more sense. Cultural differences can exist across generations, professions, genders, and more, not just across nationalities and ethnicities.
- Personality tools: The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes Instrument and the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator can help you understand your natural tendencies, strengths and weaknesses.
- Visioning: For longer-term relationships, you’ll envision an ideal, mutually satisfying relationship, and we’ll work backwards for how to get there.
- Systems: For more complex situations, we’ll look for what factors are influencing the issue, what are the reinforcing loops that make it seem stuck, and what changes will most effectively improve the system.
My approach is mostly facilitative—I’ll ask questions to guide you through analysis and planning, leaving the decision making up to you—but I’m also not afraid to give direct feedback and advice if you’re open to it.
We’ll meet via Zoom, though alternatives are available (in-person option for metro Denver/Boulder, phone or WhatsApp audio if you have weak Internet).
I offer reasonable rates, flexible scheduling, and easy, online credit card payments.
If you are interested in GROUP COACHING, work with me through Terawatt.